Contentment at 2 levels

Having trained myself in a rather strict manner, I’ve came to find out more about how certain aspect of thoughts and feelings lead to many aspect of action.

Now a certain topic caught my attention, something that i’ve always wanted to address but didnt (at that point in time before) had the necessary linguistic capability that could meet the benchmark in which I’ve set for myself.

That topic is contentment.

People in general by large feels that contentment is an negative attitude – especially for those whom wants to become “Successful” . Defining success is another whole topic by itself and I’ll not delve into it now.

The foundation of contentment lies on equanimity – ability to accept things as they are (general definition). This definition of contentment is too coarse, and coarse explanations is like grabbing a bunch of sand and say “this is sand”, but , there are fine sand and coarse sand , which is it? Now contentment with a foundation on equanimity – ability to accept things as they are is akin to grabbing a bunch of sand and saying “this is sand”.

I will daringly and broadly categorise contentment into two types, one being superficial, and the other being in depth.

Superficial contentment lies in being able to accept things as they come , living on things in a way that one’s expenses does not exceed one’s income. Being able to see the value in things that we possess and not overlook them – by large it refers to family bonds, friendship etc.

While such contentment (of superficial level) is already hard to achieve, such a level of contentment isn’t contentment set upon the foundation of equanimity.

Now for readers whom is new to the concept above, I strongly suggest you do not read on as it might choke you and I would like to seek forgiveness from anyone whom will be offended as to what I am going to write below.

Now what does contentment on a deeper level means? (this is not the deepest level,however I am relating it to the level at which I’ve seen it for myself)

Contentment at a deeper level is when one is able to deal with skilfully with mental suggestions(i am using a rather diplomatic term here),

One stops all unwholesome states of mind

One stops the arising of unwholesome states of mind

One works hard at arising wholesome states of mind

One works hard at maintaining all wholesome states of mind

Now if you’re thinking what rubbish is this writer writing, isnt that a unwholesome state of mind? Is this how a contented person think & act?

Freedom At A Basic Level

Just two days into my seek of freedom, and I realise, true freedom doesnt come from things that we’re conventionally used to , like “Freedom Of Speech” etc. Although the common things like that does give us “freedom” at a superficial level, it actually strips us of another kind of freedom – the freedom of our mind falling for our thoughts.

 

 

 

 

Why do humans want a million dollars? Because then , they would be free from worrying about things like…

Food , Shelter , Bills , Handphones , Entertainment etc

Then when we get a million dollars , what do we want to be free from.. ?

Good Food, Big Shelter, More Bills, I-phone , More Entertainment..etc

Then when we get 10 million dollars , and our body starts to degenerate.. what do we want to be free from?

Disease brought by food , Disease brought by immobility , Diseases brought by working too much

So in the end, we humans make one big round to go after things that we dont have, only to later come and look for things that we already have now – pure irony.

Now the freedom I’ve experienced cannot be understood by a mere reading of words (unless you’ve experienced it yourself before) – like a person who dont know whats red unless he himself has seen it before. I’ll do a simpler illustration for the sake of those seeking such freedom,(if your intention is bend on arguing with what I am about to write, it’ll by default not be able to gain the freedom which I write of)

I love to dota (an online game) and everyday when I go home, I would at least surf some dota news and if possible play 1 game of dota – it was a staple activity for me. Now thus it appears I am free to do what I like – to dota – but actually it restricts me because if i dont dota , i suffer the results of craving for dota – what sort of freedom is this?

Hence, having abstain from dota, one does not focus on dota and observe the feeling that is produced from abstaining from dota, if one is indeed bent on observing exactly what this feeling is, one gains true freedom .

Now this may sound all blur for many, should you need to ask me about it, feel free to.

P.s To ensure maximum result, please ensure you go and abstain from something you like for 2-3 days before chatting with me ;)

My Persnality Description

Your Personality Style Description:

Systematic and detailed, ben focuses on the process. Others see him as practical and logical. He tends to be sensitive to criticism, but prefers to internalize his emotions rather than expose them. ben likes to clarify expectations before undertaking new projects, because he works hard to meet the standards that are set for him.
A loyal friend, ben is patient and caring when attending to the needs of others. He is usually an even-paced individual who thrives in a peaceful, harmonious environment. He tends to be quite predictable, sticking with proven, reliable methods of dealing with situations rather than taking chances with a new, unproven approach.
A thoughtful, caring person who likes to be around others, ben is one who appreciates relationships. He enjoys being involved in social functions, but does not usually care to be the center of attention. ben seeks balance between personal and social time, and enjoys a quiet evening with a few close friends as a good mix of the two.
Because he cares about how others feel, ben may feel uncomfortable making decisions that strongly affect others. He typically encourages others to be involved in the decision making process and prefers to work in a team role. Others tend to see ben as agreeable and humble.

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Articles

Having setup this blog for so long, its time to review my best and most popular posts so everyone can savour them :)

Personal

My Priority As A BasketBall Coach

My Youth Team ‘09

sec 2 to sec 3 transition – The NightMare

Sec 3 to sec 4 transition – The end of the tunnel (1)

Subconscious Compulsion To Internet

Financial

How Do I Handle My Money? – Part 1

How Do I Handle My Money? – Part 2

How Do i handle my money – part 3

How Do i handle my money? – part 4

How do i handle my money? – part 5

BasketBall

#1 Key To Grow your Bball Skills exponentially

BasketBall Game of habits

bball physical – 4 basic keys

Kobe bryant just talented? read on

Is playing basketball daily a good thing?

Respect In BasketBall

Life

Keep your focus right here

be careful what you’re conditioned to

Slinging A Bag

Understanding Others ?

Defense Against The afflictions

Discipline In Your Everyday Action

Academics

what is the meaning of tests & exams ?

Discipline In Your Everyday Action

 

There

Is

A

Science

To

Everything

 

 

 

The environment which one resides in reflects directly on the mind state of the person.(unless he or she has no rights over the place). It is important that everyone take extra care of the place he stays in , to not be negligent in taking care of the place he stays in , to have discipline over the mind at all times.

Below is a simple story…

Once I heard that there was a gathering at a house and two groups of people were invited. And one group of people left their footwear haphazardly all over the place (making a mess) and the other group neatly placed their footwear in an orderly fashion. Anyone passing by that place could tell the difference between the two groups of people.

Now what kind of a person are you? Do you …

Leave your bed as it is – messy and untidy – when you rise?

Keep the toilet clean and free of stains ?

Arrange your books neatly in their holding places?

Now the importance of this is rarely appreciated. I shall not elaborate further as whatever said from this point forth will only invite arguments and unhappiness.

For those whom do not see the benefit, please forgive me for what I’ve said.

For those whom see the benefit but not yet practice, please start now.

For those whom saw the benefit ,is practicing but not yet ripe the whole fruit, be persistent in your efforts.

For those whom saw the benefit, is practicing and has the fruit ripe, please pardon my ignorance.

My Decision As A Coach?

Recently, I’ve had mix feelings about coaching the youth group that I am now, although I am very far from giving up, my passion draws thinner as the days goes by. Maybe I’ve set my expectations too high? or maybe the expectations of me on my players versus that of their own for themselves sets us apart right from the start.

My expectations for players VERSUS

Their expectations of themselves

Or maybe it’s my own incompetence as a coach to bring my players to the next level?

I’ve seen many of them grown so much and so fast in a matter of weeks during their initial days , but now their progress is.. lets just say i’ve be glad they didnt deprove. This truly saddens me as I really do not know where the problem lies.. this thought alone often bring tears to my eyes.. (metaphorically).

I’ve never met such a problem before, because all those i’ve taught progressed to the stage they wanted before eventually stopping, however these players i’ve now wants to go further (or so i think) but they are not moving! Is it my ability to coach them is only up till the level they are at now? Or their own lack of focus and intensity that delays their own progress? I am truly at a dilemma.

Besides, I’ve always coached for a love and passion for the game , and I associate with people whom competes and loves the game – or so I thought. I’ve been dealt a devastating blow when so many months of hard work can vanish for something as simple as monetary values – or did I too superficially gave my judgement in a premature manner? – Another question that lies in the balance of both ends.

Maybe its time I let go of the game.. and let it fade away in the sands of time along with the flow of my memory – am I hanging on too tightly to a rope that is affixed to no end?

Or maybe I should intensify the fire in the furnace to harness the most well forged weapon of my repertoire ?

Confusion bugs me and answers – the only antidote- seems to be sacred even in a time of technological advancement.

Maybe .. thats all that lies in my head now.. Maybe..

Subconscious Compulsion To Internet

For the past week, I’ve been working relentlessly to break this habit of chatting online and using the internet daily without much of a second thought. Here’s a typical night for me whenever I go home before I broke my habit..(realise all of them requires internet access)

Why do i call it a compulsion? because it is (and not addiction)

 

 

Compulsion : Psychology. a strong, usually irresistible impulse to perform an act, esp. one that is irrational or contrary to one's will. (Source : dictionary.com)

It doesnt happen everyday, however if I do stay at home at night, this is pretty much how my compulsion habits look like

7pm : Reach home , on com , sign in to chatting platform

7.30pm : Dota

8.30pm : Dota

9.30pm: chat

10.30pm : chat

11.30pm : chat

12.30am : Log off and sleep

Oh my god? On days when I dont dota, I chat online all the way! And i also surf the following sites on a daily basis..

Dota All Stars Forums , Kevinhzh.com , becomeabballer.com , nuffnang.com , friendster, facebook , youtube , this blog (and all my friend’s blog)

thats all. I take 2(min) – 5 hours daily to stuck myself on the net to do all these things. Looking back, it looks pretty retarded. I could well be doing so many other things .. ! This is the power of compulsion – the power of our subconscious.

Well anyway, for you readers out there whom are in this cycle, you might want to think thrice before continuing (with your compulsions) :)

My next post will deal with the bad effects of being subconsciously compulsion to the computer and online chatting platforms (i.e. MSN, facebook etc)

Defense Against The afflictions

It is important to guard ourselves against the afflictions on the heart in our daily lives, as I also mentioned in my post of synergising bball and studies , I find it important to mention it again here in my own blog to remind myself constantly about the kind of affliction where we should draw up our defense against!! I’ll just be adding short sentences below each category, so feel free to check them out!

 

Procrastination

One who complains , saying, its too early , its too late, its too hot , its too cold, i am too full or i am too hungry and acts in line with these thoughts , is said to be procrastinating .

Defend Against Procrastination With : Right Effort

Over Confidence

If you dont know its best to keep it at that, if you dont know and say you know , then you’re really spreading your ignorance around.

Defend Against Over Confidence With : Humility

Fear

Dont be afraid to fail, for failure is the mother (And father) of success!

Defend Against Fear With : Courage

Aversion

Liking and disliking is two faces of the same kind . For both disliking and liking takes something that is not for something that is. Example, we say durian smells nice, does it really smell nice? if its really nice, why doesnt everyone like it? because smell of durian is subjective. from this example, one can tell that liking and disliking is based of the action of the mind, not the object of which the mind counters.

Defend Against Aversion With : Equanimity* in accordance to Right View

*(click on the word if you dont know what it means)

Regret

Whatever that has happened has past, whatever that is happening will shape the future! Focus on whats happening now, not the what has happened or what is going to happen !!

Defend Against Regret With : Right View

Understanding Others ?

Recently I’ve came to realise that one can never understand how another person thinks or feels through reflective thinking – i.e. just by analysing his bodily actions or his look etc. Although an expert can come very close to how a person may be thinking or feeling, they cannot be 100% sure – at least this holds truth for reflective understanding .

 

 

And the interesting thing is we judge others action, feeling and intention based upon our own heart. Its like using your finger to measure how long or how short something is , the gauge is always based on your finger, is it “one finger long , or two finger long?” . Ultimately, its still boils down to your finger.

Many people quarrel over such things “oh this thing is two fingers (of mine) long” , and then someone disagrees “oh no, its 2.5 fingers (of mine) long”, so whos right? both are! whos wrong? both are!

Hence when we intend to judge anyone by anything at all, always remember, you wont know how he feels or think or intends , you can at best guess , gauge and analyse.

Bearing this in mind , and being able to let go of judging others constantly, one gains release from some form of suffering. When we truly let go and allow others to be as they are, its a blessing.

Although when we see the chance of the person being receptive to what we have to say, and what we say will lead to goodness , then we should do our best to encourage the other person to do good.