Welcome to my blog. I hope you enjoy your visit :)

Starting the day with a good morning

image There’s always something about waking up early in the morning and getting some nice simple workout. I don’t do it often (yet), however, everytime when I do (get up early ~6-7am) , the experience is always a refreshing and rejuvenating one!

I’ve read alot about early risers and it’s benefits , however it is hard to believe any of what is written until I’ve truly experienced it myself, and boy , am i amazed!

I used to think that by sleeping late and working through the, wee hours of the morning actually saved me time (and I was being productive) , however ever since I got in touch with early rising (consequently sleeping earlier)  , my opinion on the matter changed – a paradigm shift.

Sleeping one hour later and waking up one hour earlier may seem the same , however they mean a whole lot of difference!

From a medical point of view, the human body is biologically wired to rest at about 9pm and to rise at about 4-5am! Between 9-3am, major organs are actually undergoing “maintenance” and it’s a good idea to be resting at these hours.

From my own personal experience, it is alot easier to sleep 1 hour later then wake up one hour earlier , that being said, it is better to sleep one hour earlier than to sleep one hour later – especially true if I am working on an individual project or something that requires my attention. why?

Because by waking up earlier, there are fewer distractions around (although the same can be said for working late) but the best part is that your body had a good rest and is now ready to tackle the task at hand !

I am going to get into the habit of rising early (and sleeping early) as it’s simply amazing!

My First Neighbour in twenty two years

This is gonna sound silly… but I finally got a neighbour after twenty two years on earth! :)

Well it’s kinda like a kampung spirit thing.. but it’s real good to have someone that lives so near you and that means can meet up with less restrain with distance (Travelling time).

And we kinda clicked it well after a few chats and have some similiar interest as well! =) Like basketball , dota , studying (yea i think we both like that >.<”) and yea!

We don’t exactly live next to each other but vertically above one another instead! and we vary by 10 storeys !

Okay I could go on, but no i won’t lols..

Alright , kinda an informal post here =)

Exams are over!

Exams are finally over…yes this post is long overdue because exams were over on 2nd december!

Look forward to this week that follows :)

lots of stuff lined up which I missed due to exams..

As ironic as it may sound.. I do  not mind the exams at all… at least they were exciting times when I could really soley just focus on ONE thing – exams. And that kind of energy was simply awe-inspiring! I’ve never felt so “Alive” in a very very long time =)

I look forward to the next semester and the holidays (notice how they are not in chronological order).

I aspire to be a writer.. a teacher .. a friend and an educator. I believe in the magic of words.. a picture may speak a thousand words, but a word can speak a million pictures (imagination) !

When all hell breaks loose…

adversity-saidaonline Finally found some time to write into my blog..

the exams has been very stressful for the past 2 weeks plus.. my routine lifestyle has been “broken” , i.e.

- cant be a avid facebook user

- cant slack on msn

- no bball trainings

- no tues meditation

- no wing chun

- no long hours of sleeping

I could go on and say how much it sucked.. bla bla bla.. but I won’t, because I have this very strong belief, that every adversity is a learning opportunity, there is something good out of every bad thing that happens to us – only if we look hard enough.

So what is so good about not being able to do the above? (Note: I am just saying theres a good side to it, not that it is 100% nice and rosy)

well for one, I get alot of personal time with myself (and my exam preparation) , and I get to cut off most(if not all) social activities (including online social activities) , which allowed for me to

- look at myself and reflect in quiet solitude about the purpose of life

- cherish the times that I had with my friends

- have time to be greatful for what I have

- relook at the way I was living my life

okay thats the heavy stuff.. now for some lighter stuff, because the exams totally interrupted my pattern, it meant that I had the opportunity to re-establish new patterns AFTER the exams! And in my quiet solitude, I learned a great deal about myself and the way I did things, it was most insightful and rather personal.

One things for sure, we are stronger than we think and have much more in us that we show . But we seldom show that side of ourselves, because life is too nice and rosy, however when all hell breaks loose, the part of us that says “Never give up” will show, and that is when life is most rewarding .

My good brother (xin hao) once shared with me the things he did prior to his full time ordination , he went to the places he loved, ate the food he liked.. etc etc . How much of these do we take for granted in our daily lives?

Although the exams has been a daunting task so far, however if I could choose again (assuming I could), I would choose to go through it again.


Because in the face of adversity,

when all odds seems to be against me,

I suddenly stopped walking

and looked at myself,

and for once, I saw my own reflection,

who I really am.

It is one of the “ahh” moments in life, when things goes too smoothly, we seldom stop in our tracks (pun intended) to look at how we are travelling or where we are going, only when we hit a kerb or fall down, do we reconsider our options – that is why , in every adversity , lies an opportunity.

Getting things off your mind – Part III

key on paper In Part II , it was mentioned that the first piece of the puzzle was to allow the mind to only focus on one thing at a time and thus making an “appointment” with the tasks at hand ! Just by doing this alone, the heart can calm down a whole lot … but the second piece of the puzzle is the crnerstone to ensure the first piece of puzzle is firmly in place…

Second Puzzle Piece – Breaking things down

The second piece of the puzzle comes from the ability to put all of the “stuff” in our mind out of our mind ! But many conventional “organizing” methods does this, but there is a crux in doing so which was almost never mentioned before, pay attention to what is going to be mentioned for it is the most important content of the second piece of the puzzle ,

“Decide the very next physical action required to move the situation forward…”– David Allen , “Getting Things Done”

Taking an example from part I ,

Need to exercise 30 mins 3 times a week” – is this a physical action? – NO , it is only a statement , a description – call it what you may , but it is not an action.

And when something isn’t an “action” , we tend to get lost ! Unless we decide upon the next physical action, chances are all the “stuff” gets thrown back into your mind =) But once the next physical action has been decided, our mind tend to naturally detach itself from it , because it has been given an assurance , our mind is like a child, to make a child secure , you either have to give the sweet to him right away or be very detail about when he’s getting that sweet , just saying “you’ll get your sweet in due time” is not good enough.

This was the key difference ! This is exactly what was missing, the method to allow the mind to detach from a task naturally!

So let’s look at the “Need to exercise 30 mins 3 times a week” again , let’s turn this into a “physical action” ,

1) Go for basketball games on mondays and wednesdays for 45 minutes after school(approximately 6pm to 6.45pm)

2) Set a reminder in a way (personalised it yourself!) that you will remember to do the above

Once that is done , something amazing happens, your mind KNOWS that this matter has been taken care of and KNOWS that it’ll be reminded in a way that you cannot forget, and what happens? It detaches itself from the activity of “planning it” .

A typical example we might better relate to is how do we make sure we remember to bring something to school/work the next day? let’s say to bring an important piece of document to your boss the next day, what would you do? If you are like most people, all that needs to be done is to place that document beside something you would NEVER FORGET to bring out of your house – like the keys, in our briefcase or on our shoes (if it doesn’t stink lol)

After placing the document on your shoe (example) , what happens? Yes, you know what happens, your mind automatically detaches itself from worrying/thinking/planning about that very important document !

TADA! , the 2nd piece of the puzzle has been found :)

Getting things off your mind – Part II


As mentioned in Part I , the i-got-alot-of-things-to-do-but-i-got-no-time symdrome comes from the looping of the mind over the things that needs to be done over and over again… which leads to the inevitable conclusion that “I got alot of things to do but no time!” And now…

My story continues – part II

As I begin to realize that I am in deep shit, I began to look for a solution, organizing myself, de-cluttering , managing time , prioritizing , you name it!

Did it work? NO. If anything, it only made me come to the conclusion that I have even MORE things to do now, why was that so? As rightly pointed out by David Allen (spoiler : Do not google his name if you want to read on , Managing time , Managing information and/or managing priorities, After all,

1) you don’t manage five minutes and end up with six;

2) you don’t manage information overload – otherwise you’ve walk into a library and die or the first time you connected to the web, or even opened a phone book, you’d blow up;(pun intended) and

3) you don’t manage priorities – you have them

So here is my story on the problem… now the story of the solution.. (yes what we all have been waiting for)

The story of the solution – Initial Realization

My first realization of the possible solution came from my own meditation practice , I realised that since the mind can only have one focus at a time, it would only make sense that whenever we do something, we should focus solely on the task at hand – this was the first piece of the puzzle.

This meant that everything deserved our attention only when we consciously decide to do so – meaning if I was having dinner, I want to have the choice of just focus on eating my dinner and not think of what is about to happen when the world ends.

That was as far as I got as far as my realization was concern , I couldn’t yet find any sort of solution further from this,

So readers, remember the first part of the puzzle,(there are a total of three)

Our mind can only focus on ONE thing at a time, and things should only have our attention when we consciously decide to do so.

What does this lead to you may ask? The very first part of the puzzle lead to me making “appointments” with my task at hand, if i set 30 mins for my morning workout, that’ve be my focus for that span of 30 mins , not engaged in the future nor the past. And when I do need to “plan” for the future or “review” the past, I put my full attention on doing so .

This can be summarised in a sentence ,

“To live in the now , the present , this very moment or in day-light-compartments”

But this is not the complete picture , what I realized next was an important trampoline to put this first piece of puzzle in it’s place – towards forming the complete picture.

Getting things off your mind – Part I

overwhelmed-lady-desk I’ve finally realised the cause of my ineffectiveness in school and in life !!! *Three Cheers* Allow me to digress a little from the actual solution =) I’ve like to relate my situation with everyone reading this as it’ve be unlikely that most of you know the story yet…

(As I write this, I realise it’ve be too long to squeeze everything into one part, hence i’ll split it up into various parts)

The story beings…

I’ve always felt …

1. I have alot to accomplish

2. I have “no time” to accomplish the things I want to

3. Feeling that I have alot of things “I need to do” on a very consistent basis

4. I am being split apart by commitments ranging from work to friends in all aspects

5. I don’t have time for myself

Does that sound familiar to you? I bet at least one of them does, an informal survey would reflect that in today’s modern society, at least 70% (being modest here) of people “suffer” from the above syndrome, the i-got-alot-of-things-to-do-but-i-got-no-time symdrome !

Question , “Why is that so?” –> this is the question that I only found an answer to … Yesterday (14 Nov 09)

The cause of the problem is simple,(but detailed if I were to answer here), i’ll put it simply and generally ,

We cannot get the things off our minds

Relating back to my story, All the things that I want to do are all fermenting within my mind ! Health issues… studies.. sports… martial arts.. family.. friends … Do i need to go on? The first “realization one needs to know is this, the mind can only focus on one thing at a time! Hence it isnt hard to figure out how overwhelmed I felt when I had my WHOLE LIFE’s concern in my mind!

Basically, my mind was overloaded with problems and although there were solutions , it just simply wasn’t possible to make it into feasible plans because everything is stuffed up there! The mind is moving within a very narrow boundary , imagine the inner conversation go…

Health : Need to exercise 30 mins 3 times a week , Eat fruits , do marketing, sleep early

Martial Art : Need to train for 30 mins (EH can i consider this a exercise?) , everyday , make it a routine

Studies : Need to study at least 2 hours per day, review notes , do tutorials , do up presentation (whow alot of time needed..)

Home : Need to do housework, do the laundry, buy groceries…

The list of priorities goes ON , but at this point, my mind was already  overwhelmed and it came to a conclusion “I need alot of time, I dont have so much time” – period. My mind shuts down, switches off, closes shop and says good night.

And what did I get out of this “mental processing” ? A whole bunch of negative conclusions, it’s hard not to be negative when the whole world is “crashing in” with so many “to-dos” and “to-plans”.

This resulted in my being less motivated to do the things that needs to be done! And it basically rolled itself in a vicious cycle, and things don’t get done, I cower away into that little place we all call “Comfort zone” or “a place to NUA” - I was escaping reality .

But when the time comes for a reality check(exams/tests/deadlines etc) , suddenly, I realised..

“I am in deep shit”


Hi all my readers,

in view of my examinations, I may not be posting for the duration from now till 2nd december (my last paper).

I also won't be frequenting facebook/msn/websites-i-usually-surf =)

Do drop my some tags !! :)

Exams are coming!

Some very random rants…

As the exams draws near…! Everyone is busy preparing for it… Somehow , It feels a bit foolish isn’t it?

I’ve always been prepared for most of life’s challenges, but one of the challenges that is bound to happen one day – I am not prepared at all. And guess what ? That’s death.

We spend so much time preparing for the light – happiness – at the end of the tunnel, but we’re never sure when death will hit us =(

Well yea… nevertheless! Life goes on =) Tomorrow I’ll be heading out for the Body World Exhibition, it’ll sure be an eye opener for me ^^

Off to bed! :)

世外桃园,a place called peace



中国花园之景色,Actual Footage of chinese garden



爱与好友闲聊,所以便答应了他。晚餐就不提了,用完饭之后,我们决定到中国花园(chinese garden)练习武术,一路上我们有说有笑,仿佛亲兄弟一班。





Phew, that was a feat ! Been a while since I last used chinese to write such a long “Compo” !

Today martial arts training was cancelled due to some unforseen circumstances, wanted to stay at home and study, however I decided one of my good pals ck and I decided to have our own training session and have dinner together at the same time.  And this was how I discovered “A Place Called Peace”,

After dinner, ck and I decided to go to chinese garden for our “private” training session, upon reaching the gates of the garden, the welcoming breeze greeted us and a amazing sort of peace feeling took over . Although the skies was showing it’s wrath with instances after instances of lightning, we proceeded to tour the garden and settled for a spot – which was near a toilet which could act as a shelter for us in case it rained – and started our training.

The feeling that such a place brought was a very calm, serene and indescribable sense of peace .  There were little signs of humans within sight, however, a walk around revealed people jogging, dancing and meditating amongst the woods. Everyone was composed and calm and there were only the sounds of nature echoing against the peaceful lake .

I’ve never felt so incredibly at ease without effort at all, a step away from the city life, it was a savour of mother nature and the blessing to have a good brother by my side.

Before we left, my good friend ck even said “every departure signifies the next arrival”, it came as a total surprise as my friend hardly speaks eloquently, much less made a poem! It was then that I was sure this is “A Place Called Peace” .

20 days to exams

It is 20 days to my first paper (CBC 113) ,and i’ve decided to keep a small log of how things goes on a frequent basis (if possible daily – depends on my schedule). It’s a bit LATE to start preparing, but nevertheless, better late than never , so goes the sayings! (there’ll be photos below… phew!)

Also I intend to form some new habits… I wont list them here… If i do post about them you’ll see ^^

Here’s the initial planning stage…

1) Prepare study area that’s conducive and comfortable

1.1 – Table , Side table, notice boards, stationeries , well organised desk

1.2 – Conducive Music (Soft Pali Chants Is Chosen this time)

2) Prepare a flowchart

This is important.. to gauge what NEEDS to be done.. as mdm yaw (my sec sch teacher said) ,

If you want to get As, plan – that’s the first step !

So this part is going to scare me off.. because I’ve alot of stuff that needs to be done  – mostly due to my super perfectionist attitude towards anything!

It will be 32 days later when my LAST paper ends… Just nice one month… time to heat things up and do well!

Here are some photos… (speaks for themselves)



This is the core reason why I am struggling now.. inexperienced… spent my time ONLINE during lessons breaks.. omg..:X (old photos – week 1-7 I was as such…!)

IMG_0050 My revamped study area, conducive (notice the right cabinet? It is to give me a feeling of “compactness” which was not present previously – without the cabinet , this causes me to be easily distracted


A closer look reveals two green notice boards and a comfortable “closed up” environment" !


Temporarily , I’ve shifted all my “junk” here (area behind the shot above), once this is cleared, either can make a new study area (for grp study) or some other purpose (meditation corner?)

Hope you enjoyed!

stop the abuse.. on ourselves!

White-faced Monkey 485051 horse-drinking-water-from-pond








As I look around myself and on myself… I realised that humans are really great at abusing ourselves… and we get very “happy” about abusing ourselves…! And what are the two main things that we humans abuse?

First it is our body, Taking the rearing of horse as an example, we give the horse the most nutritious grass,the best water , and we let it exercise on a daily basis, by nightfall we let it sleep, when it’s sick we give it more water, more rest, and the best care. If we treat our body the way we treated the horse, there would be less unhealthy people around… Why?

Let’s switch roles and treat the horse like how we treat our body, what happens? We would feed the horse with things that the horse likes to eat (but not good for it’s body) , we would fry the grass, feed the horse soft drinks, deprive it of water, don’t allow it to exercise, and on top of that, the horse will only get to sleep past midnight… and let’s assume the horse can work like us, it’ll be working it’s ass off , just how much abuse are we giving our body? Depriving it of rest… of water… of nutrient… to satisfy what?

To satisfy our own greed, instead of eating what is beneficial to our bodies, we eat things that are beneficial to our greed through the function of taste,. instead of drinking water that is beneficial to our body,we drink things that are beneficial to our greed through the function of taste, instead of resting our body, we let it work on overdrive, for various reasons, just when are we going to let our body deserve the care it deserves?

The second thing we abuse is our mind, in fact, I am inclined to believe that we abuse our bodies because our mind is already so scarred and wounded beyond our imaginations,but because it takes no physical form, that is why we are as if oblivious to the extend of it’s injuries !

Our mind is like a wild monkey, ordinarily, monkeys love running and jumping around, never sitting still, in a bid to control the monkey, we tie a steady string to the monkey’s arm , and sometimes we succeed in restraining the monkey , but often, when the monkey meet with thing it likes and dislikes, it either runs in the direction of what it likes, or flee in the opposite direction of what it dislikes, when that happens, we’re at the full mercy of the monkey! sometimes the monkey runs so fast, that it loses it’s sense of direction, and we too get lost !

And when the monkey finally gets tired, it looks for a place to stay and rest, but alas, there’s no house in sight! And the rain pours… the sun shines… the monkey is left, wounded, stranded and defeated . Having no choice, the monkey comes to a rest at the very spot it was at the moment, and having being led round and round by the monkey , we too , stop to rest on the uncomfortable ground.

With no place to call his own, no roof over it’s head, our minds is under constant abuse from the elements of nature, it never gets to rest completely!

These are the 2 most valuable assets we humans have, but we failed to take good care of them,  just exactly what are we losing out on that we don’t even have time to look after our most valuable assets ?

That is a question to ponder upon.

A simple forest life in the cities ?

monk-med-stream-1024x768 This is probably going to be a long post (I don’t know , I haven’t written it yet!) .

Since a very young age – like 6-7 ? , i’ve loved the nature environment a “forest” provides , back when I was young, kids would like to spend their time at the “Fitness Corner” playing the balance beams, the monkey bars and what not , but I would spend my time near an area surrounded by trees (maybe that’s why I made it into the TAF club – a club for overweight personnel) , didnt enjoy much company either, preferring always to be alone and just soaking it all  up , *ah* =)

This habit prevailed even as I “aged” , moving to my teenage years, always preferring to go to the areas with more trees – again right beside the fitness corner! – and always preferring to keep to my own thoughts .

Well, all these builds up to my main topic today, can we live a simple “Forest” life in the cities? I mention “forest” because of the origin of my thoughts . Which are the forest monastery situated in malaysia & thailand , I could only read about them, which typically goes like (I apologise for any mis-representations , its only the way I percieve it)

4am Wake Up

4.30am - 6am Meditation

6am – 7am Chanting

7am – 8am Preparations

8am – 11am AlmsRound

11am – 12pm Meal

12pm – 4pm Own Time Own Target

4pm – 6pm Daily Chores (Sweeping the floor…etc)

6pm – 7pm Chanting

7pm onwards Meditation/Weekly Meetings etc

11pm Lights Out

The closest type of life that I have to this was actually.. in NS’s BMT ! To be honest, I totally enjoyed the life inside as it brings about a sense of inner peace within , there was no need to rush anywhere, every activity was well planned and well executed, it was  a simple and peaceful life.

But in modern day society , is that possible to lead such a simple life ? I don’t know about you, but that question remains unsolved for me, its still a mystery in every way.

One of the things that makes life complicated … for me

Msn, Facebook.. the COMPUTER , how much of the computer do we use for fulfilling our duties (work/study etc) and how much of it are we using to fulfil our WANTS ?(videos/dramas/music)

Will I be able to establish a “Forest” within this concrete surrounding? Can life be simpler?

Afterall, there are only 4 basic needs in our life

Food , Shelter , Clothing , Medicine

What more do we need ?

Ok truth be told, company of the right kind seems kinda important to me as well.. but well that kinda doesnt make life all too complex does it ?

A forest city life… even the english sounds wrong.. but is it truly impossible?

Leave a comment , dear readers ^^

A full mind

Met ajahn keng today, and felt very at ease about him, had plenty of laughs but the mind was very stable and didn’t shake about too much.

Dont have much to talk , for all that needs to be spoken has been.


A heart released … i wonder … but wondering only ties it down …

The practice of genorosity and virtue so important…

Why I am doing so badly in school =(

image Readers please be warned that there will be multiple reference made to toilets and dirty stuff in this post. . . largely because I’ve literally been admonished by my grandpapa of truth through a mp3 recording. . . and felt so bad I’ve be better of digging a hole and hide my face in it . . . The below is a message mostly written to myself , I find using analogies works very well because at different times it can hold a different meaning to different persons as well . . .

This will be a long post . . . Beginning of analogy (skip if its too long)


Being the top 10 student in secondary school and also amongst the top few in polytechnic to be able to enter into the university of a high calibre, I found myself stranded in a position where I can’t seem to cope with my studies at all . . . Too much homework . . . Too much information to digest . . . ecetera

And the surrounding environment makes it all seems “natural” and “yea uni is like that” , and I sort of got into a stinky toilet and just because everyone is so comfortable inside and echoes of “toilets can never be clean. . .” and as such, I happily take a seat on the dirt ridden floor and sing along with sloth and torpor dancing along then engaging in vain speech and the mind simply slips into the toilet bowls . . . full of bowels and mucous and I exclaim “What bliss is it to have such company ! What bliss is it for my mind to dwell in that toilet bowl !”

The truth cannot be further away ! People nowadays can’t wait to congratulate you in joining them in the dance with sloth and torpor you know, they’ll throw parties and parades when a new member exclaims that “Ah the toilet bowls should stink and urinals always overflow” , they even invite all the alumnis and bring you all around their own toilet bowls which is filled with shit saying “see ours is like that also!” , then the mind happily goes along , when will we ever see the dirt and filth we are living in ?

It is only natural for the mind to be soaked in dirt and rubbish, but  if we the owners of this mind do not quickly hasten ourselves and start fertilising the rubbish and dirt so that the lotus will grow out quickly, we might just stay there long enough and become part of the dirt !

End of analogy – to main topic now

Okay , I’ve finished my analogy , please do carefully consider this matter clearly for yourself.

Let me continue unto the pareto’s principle or simply known as the 80/20 rule , and it states that . . .


“20% of what we do produces 80% of our results

80% of what we do produces 20% of our results”

It simply implies that out of the many tasks we do, a minority of them forms a majority of our results

From experience and many top student’s testimonial… 3 things matters the MOST when it comes to academic performance. . .

1) Reading up before a lecture

2) Paying attention in the lecture

3) Reading up after a lecture

And guess what ?


Amazing. . . I didn’t read up before a lecture , I didn’t read up after a lecture , I didn’t bother to do the textbook questions and I complain I got no time and I don’t know how to do the tutorials?

I better wake up my idea. . . Good thing it’s only week 6. . .  Wake up Wake up!!!

What does being an entrepreneur mean to me?

earth-in-hands-small I used to think about the plans of setting up my company and expanding it to a huge enterprise whilst “value adding” to my customers and earning a passive income was the most “successful” thing in one’s career…

But as the years pass by (and pass by) , I realised that the places I personally like to visit for services (i.e. sports injury , shops , financial consultants etc) are not those big “enterprise” nor MNCs. I find them too commercialised and lacking in that “human touch” , the people who serve these companies hardly has any passion for the job or whatsoever!

Something then dawned upon me that… maybe the greatest gift that being an entrepreneur can give me, is that I can decide what kind of benefits my workers will get, how I can help my workers foster a friendly working environment where they’ll look forward to working everyday ! Isn’t it great to know that one has the privilege of being to be in the position to dictate other people’s life and put it to good use?

I personally find it a big waste to be in a high position where many people’s life literally depend on you for a living and all I can think of is how I can earn more money, build more branches and how much more I can….I would want to….all I I I I I I I I !!!

Is this what life is about for me? Wasting the wonderful opportunities all for myself?

No. Definitely not, most absolutely not.

my five best friends

Been refraining from blogging the past week or so because my thoughts has pretty much been established in such a way that I feel if i were to start typing it here, people might think i am crazy !

What more can i say? hahas..

I do have 5 best “physical” friends… wont mention names here lest their privacy gets invaded =p hahas.. but they’ve been a source of support and inspiration for me… =)

I have alot of thoughts these days.. but i do my best not to let my mind get all entangled up with them.. the only thing that i really want to say and express my utmost gratitude for are my 5 best friends from within, which 5?

My friend of harmlessness, whom would not do harm even to the smallest of beings (ants) , and through him my heart is cool with loving kindness

My friend of contentment, whom is perfectly content with whatever he has and would only sought to give what he has to others and not covet what others have for himself , and through him my heart is filled with contentment and appreciation

My friend of respect, whom would not engage in disrespectful acts of any kind towards people whom are loved by loved ones and protected by love ones, and through him my heart is filled with a sense of calmness

My friend of honesty , whom would not utter a single falsehood to anyone , and through him  heart is set at ease and i gain many more friends

My friend of mindfulness, whom seeks to maintain itself in being aware of what is going on from moment to moment and will not allow things to jeopardize it , and through him my heart is always alert

many thanks for befriending this 5 friends ^^ may they all be your friends as well :)

Ip Man Movie

Been re-watching this movie.. and found a part thats motivational to me =)

Share with all of you.. from 1:30 .. the music is very motivating..! check it out!!

As a practicioner of wing chun.. the scene makes more sense to me then the first time i saw it (before i learned wing chun)

jia you!!

Mathematics is tough

First semester module.. Mathematics for Science.. A tough challenge for me =(

First chapter functions already got be baflled and trigonometric identities made me go “gaga”

But i trust nothing is impossible.. and i’ll still score well for this module!!

Adapting to school life sure isn’t as smooth as i taught, my body does not have enough rest (4-5 hrs per day) and my mind is being used almost in every waking hour..

It would appear alot of my “social” activities online will have to stop and priorities needs to be given to my body and my mind (and it’s development)

May all go well !


Been sleeping alot on weekends recently..

Weekdays just seems to be jammed packed with activities that I hardly get enough time for myself ..

I think it’s time I took a rest from my long hours (going out at 7.30am in the morning and coming home at 10pm) of trying to accomplish so much at one go..

Been trying to find a balance for my activities and my priorities..

I’ll never forget the purpose of being born.. that is to not be born again..



Listening is an art.. and when one can truly listen and not judge.. that’s something.. most ppl can only brag about listening.. but the true listeners are humble beyond measure..(a true irony after these quotes)

some quotes..(source: here)

“A wise old owl sat on an oak; The more he saw the less he spoke; The less he spoke the more he heard; Why aren't we like that wise old bird?

“Listening is a magnetic and strange thing, a creative force. The friends who listen to us are the ones we move toward. When we are listened to, it creates us, makes us unfold and expand.”

“So when you are listening to somebody, completely, attentively, then you are listening not only to the words, but also to the feeling of what is being conveyed, to the whole of it, not part of it.”

“You seldom listen to me, and when you do you don't hear, and when you do hear you hear wrong, and even when you hear right you change it so fast that it's never the same.”

The true irony is.. that if one feels that nobody listens to him enough.. its very likely because one don’t listen to others enough.

Happy National Day

vesak flag 








Yes.. happy birthday singapore.. ! yesterday’s national day parade was sure a very nice show for me.. but throughout the parade, i didn’t actually “enjoy” it because my mind was instead set on contemplation of life.. yes.. if you like to enjoy life and go by the motto of “one life , live it” , please feel free to skip the contents below..

As the parade showed alot of people gathering around to perform, a thought hit me and said “look at these people , how many of them are virtuous? how many of them have sila?” and the answer my mind gave was not a good one.. Thus I reflect.. it is indeed my merit to be able to make an effort to be virtuous..

Then there was a segment where it showed the vision of MM lee and he exclaimed “In ten years time, this city shall be a metropolis , fear not!” , well i was very impressed with MM’s vision… but i am even more reminded of the vision and metta of the fully enlightened one.. Thus i reflect, it is indeed my merit to be able to meet and practice the teachings of the teacher who’ve shown us the way..

This national day is like a buddha puja day for me.. lol.. there is no greater leader.. no wiser awakened one.. then the fully right awakened one.. buddham saranam gacchami !!

p.s. sorry for readers who want to read about my life :P i feel these contemplations are more of my daily thoughts.. and perhaps this is a small insight into my thoughts ^^”

Sleeping alot =D

Been a long time since i last got to wake up at 9am+ and 10am + . and it kinda feels good ! =) And i also get to do the housework which I so have been wanting to do for a long long time (but didn’t get to fulfill this wish till now!)

Schedule kinda pack these days still at night.. but i suppose the morning rests kinda makes up for it ! tada!

Oh and i encourage everyone to make a facebook account – I do not need to hyperlink you there do i ? because its probably one of the most convenient mediums for social communication nowadays ! =D

see all of you on face book! (add me @ ben pek – friends only)

Is Desire Good?

XSmallConsistency I’ve heard many a times people say that we shouldn’t do good for the sake of doing good, and that we shouldn’t be greedy over merits ! And that if we do “good deeds” because we wanted the merit, then its greed.

But when they start to gossip about other people’s bad things, when they go drinking alcohol or when they start having bad intentions towards others, do they realise what they are doing? when it comes to indulging in sensual pleasure , do they say ‘oh i shouldn’t be greedy about watching tv”. NO! they go ahead and do it!

At least the people who are “greedy” after the goodness behind a good deed is smart enough to know he is accumulating merit !

Such is the nature of people, when they want to do something they do not first consider the consequences or the intention behind their actions – they simply follow their defilements . But when it comes to doing good , they can come up with all the excuses and even say that we shouldn’t be greedy over “Goodness” !!

I’ve said enough..

A dream…

deathvalley_0083 Words cannot describe how I feel.. Just going to be very random here.. Whoever can understand will.. whoever don’t .. just don’t…

You see that car?

How do you know its real?

Because the eyes sees colours..

Because the skin can feel..

Because you remember seeing and touching it..

But what if you were blind?

But what if you couldn’t feel?

What if you couldn’t remember?

Would that car still be real?

All these things feel so real because of what we see.. hear.. taste.. smell .. touch .. and think.. if anyone of it was removed from the equation.. would things still appear so real?

Maybe we’re all living in a dream.. a nightmare.. ><”

My Last Week Of Work..


This week marks the end of my NS stint.. I leave my office with mix feelings.. Rather not say them now.. let the photos do the talking!! (we took more photos then this, click this link to see more! )

Steam Boat Gathering Prior To Last Day Of Work









Everyone preparing to makan!                                                     Group Photo After Dinner

Last Day Of Work









            mdm gopi me sze tho                                                                        Boss And Me!









Shahreza and Me                                                                          My work desk – one last time =(

Through this.. I reflect.. everything is subjected to 4 conditions , birth , aging , illness and death. Alot of my colleagues ask me “why do you talk like as if you are going to die?” , because that’s exactly what was on my mind on the last day..

Birth – I was “born” in the office on january 2008 , still young, i strove my way to learn all I could

Aging – I matured through the years and gained alot of experience on the job

Illness – Job screw up, relationship issues with office , everything unpleasant

Death – And now i’ve been placed in the coffin, never again will I be part of this office

This 4 conditions is found in all (conditioned)things.. everything without exception is subjected to this 4 conditions.. This “Death” (ORD) of mine is only a small one.. when a bigger “Death” comes along.. can I handle it?

That is the real cause of my sadness…

The Weekday Review Posting Format


Random Picture – Firdaus(my office best friend) and me in locker room ^^

The format of this post is inspired by a good buddy of mine, Gordan . That’s usually how he blogs and I thought I should try it too!! (check him out in my blogroll as well)

I modified the format a bit, so it’ll be a weekly breakdown of my activities(low mental strain) to some of my own thoughts (high mental strain) and finally to my own thoughts that is very critical in nature (high mental strain)

So feel free to ignore anything that may not make sense to you.

Weekly BreakDown :


Work as usual.. I usually don’t remember what happens at work.. because it sort of became a routine for me.. But the constant bonding with my office people is something that I appreciate and enjoy on a day to day basis..

At night went to taught bball , i adopted a fresher approach to my coaching , and I believe my players prefer this approach =)


At night went to BS for weekly meditation session , the mind calmed down quite fast this time round although still haven’t managed to concentrate .. zi wei (my office colleague) was there also.. after that went to have dinner @ clementi before heading off home .


Like i said i wont mention work !

At night went for wing chun lesson =) Brought alot of new friends there , jimson (and his pal zen an) , zi yang and sean also went, very interesting lesson as usual, and today kena hit by the trainer(he hit softly only dont worry) so fast that i didnt even see his hand kena whack already.. lol


Wanted to go zi wei house to swim.. but got caught up by work, so in the end we ended up having dinner and going back to office to accompany our supervisor wei xiong , the three of us had a very meaningful (and somewhat heated) discussion which resulted in much benefit =)


Today at work was very busy.. had to wake up at 6am to give zi wei a wake up call.. he told me i called him 24 times before he woke up.. (i have some patience huh?) then was very busy preparing for work stuff.. and afternoon had quite a depressing quarrel with zi wei (again), but we ended up shaking hands and forgiving each other (for the 100003345 time) . isn’t it beautiful that friendship ? how we can quarrel and respect each other for our differences


It is rare for me to meet friends whom are good listeners and supporters of myself, maybe i am too naive, but i really treat my friends better than myself sometimes. (i.e. i wont treat myself to a S$10 meal but i will do that for my friend if he wants) . Bringing joy to my buddies is way more important than bringing joy to myself (although it can be said that my buddies rejoicing creates a joy in me – so ultimately its still my own joy that matters) .

Upon reflection tho, i must always remember , no matter how close i may to anyone/anything , they are without exception, subjected to separation. One day , i’ll be separated from those I love dearly and those who love me dearly, this i have to keep reflecting else i’ll be setting myself up for a ton of suffering.

No wonder devas have it harder to walk the path towards total unbinding.

Quote of the week + Thoughts

“Song, you’re the one friend I have in my entire social circle , that doesn’t drink/smoke/womanise , and one whom goes to temple , meditates and chant , the only “pure” friend I know”

– Xiong (identity wont be revealed)

Song’s thoughts: I take it as a big compliment =) wayne always tells me that virtue is not innocence, virtue is innocence tested. Personally, i feel that being born and growing up in such a society (which drinks/smoking is a norm) and to be surrounded by ppl who does so , and yet not being pulled along with them is already the biggest test to my virtue, for there are 4 types of people in the world,

1) ppl who upon hearing (of an act and it’s consequences) will refrain from that act

i.e. reading through newspapers , hearing it from elders/wiser people

2) ppl who upon seeing (the act and it’s consequences) will refrain from that act

i.e. seeing your own friend/family experience the consequences of certain actions

3) ppl whom upon experiencing (the act and it’s consequences) will refrain from that act

i.e. telling a deliberate lie which resulted in many parties getting hurt

4) ppl whom upon experiencing (the act and it’s consequences) continues with that act

i.e. beating people up and ending up in jail, but upon release, continues to beat ppl up

1 – 4 , wise – foolish , this is the mark.

I always hope i belong to category 1)  , but alas, I do not for all actions . However, I hope to be always faster than the kilesas so that I can stay in 1) and if i am a bit slower 2) , may i never have to belong to 3) and especially not 4) .


Like my new way of posting? no? leave a comment and let me know what you think!!

a little at a time

LotusFlower Slowly this few days the feelings that bugged me for a long time is starting to dissipate, what remains is a slight sting which appears quickly and disappears just as fast. I hope this can be maintained =)

As life begins to shift into a different chapter , my ORD date closes in as my days in the university is about to begin ! Some would think that I am dead set on leaving NS and go to uni , however, my heart is filled with a tinch of sadness as I’ll miss all my buddies in my office, the times we had – good and bad, they are indeed as close to me as a family would be.

It’s hard for me to accept this transition, as I’ve never felt so close to a group of people , their understanding and kindness , especially our supervisors (mdm kaur , harold & wei xiong) treats us so well and can accept us for who we are not to work within our differences.

I’ll always remember them and the times we had together will forever be cherished.


Here is a list (blogroll) of my friends and links I want to share, check them out

Dhamma Friends

Xin Hao Photo
Xin Hao
  Ming Gen Photo
Ming Gen

BasketBall Friends

Sean Photo
  Misc Photo
Wen Liang
  Thian Seng Photo
Thian Seng
Tommy Photo
  me n kobe
  basketball Ziyang

Overseas Friends

Robb Photo
  Zachary Photo

If you are my friend or would like me to add you here, please drop me a email at : gmaluku[at]hotmail[dot]com !!

How do I let go ?

swing It seems impossible for me to let go.. 7 days ago.. lol .. this is the seventh morning i awaken very early (5am+ 6am) to a very heavy and “Emo’ feeling.. everyday it burns..

This aching feeling.. this fear. .this worry.. that my friends would do stupid things and end up in inconceivable dire consequences. Images of their suffering ran through my head day after day, night after night, without rest , like a shadow that never leaves – not even in my sleep.

I seem so certain that something is going to happen to those whom do foolish stuff.. (drinking alcohol , meddling with girls unchastely) , however i forgot, that all these things are just too extreme..

Where is my trust in my friends? In that they’ll look after themselves, as of now, they seem to be doing better off than i am, so much for foolishness leading to suffering – I seem to be the wise one, but why am i suffering more?

Learning to let go, and always know , life is uncertain , there is not certainty in life and there never will be. Whether or not my friends will end up for better or for worst with their foolish actions? – not sure. Because they too have wise actions and skilful actions as well, just that some of them are more inclined towards foolish actions – thats ALL .

If you see certainty in that which is uncertain, you are bound to suffer.

Should start looking inwardly at myself, am i tainted by the same defilements as my friends are? lead by the same stupid foolish delusion , blinded by passion and disgusted by aversion?

Everyone is owner to their own actions and heir to the consequences of their actions , there is nothing I can do except point the way towards happiness.

I am determined to overcome this suffering and become wiser in my dealings with every fellow beings.


What Is knowledge?

It is not something to be memorized and not understood..

It is not something that you read and repeat..

It is not something which comes from books ..

True knowledge is gained through experience or other’s experience ..

Only through practice of knowledge can one see knowledge..

The Amount Of Wealth you can ever gain

Sitting here , suddenly a thought occurred as I just sat back and enjoyed the bliss.. like cool water running down my neck , cleansing my heart and streamlining my mind..

“There is no wealth nor

health greater than a peace of mind”

Indeed there is no wealth comparable to a mind that’s strong filled with energy

Indeed there is no health comparable to a mind that’s unshaken by the greatest quakes on earth

Just enjoying this bliss of a peace of mind.. I can understand why some great people described this feeling as “A Heart Released”

Although my peace of mind is still rough and coarse.. it is a glimpse of what is to be.. I’ll strive at it..

Action speaks louder than a thousand words..

If indeed the dhamma is so good, why was i suffering trying to get people to practice it? irony.

Peace of mind, its the only way to show others the way .

Bridges Of Flames

fire on water This story does not depict reality but instead a metaphoric representation of reality.

This morning , I awaken to a burning sensation throughout my entire body , as if on fire, with no place to run. After a while, from the skies came a bridge that was aflamed lashing down unto me like whips  , without time to dodge, it hit me squarely across my shoulders as I bent in submission to it’s flames – 2 narrow pathway was made , each just nice for one’s feet , no wider .

Glancing back at the trail of the burning bridge, I see no end , glancing forward of the burning bridge, I see no end , the rocks beneath my bare foot was heated up by this lashing bridge that my feet was on fire, gradually, my whole body was on fire – a flame that burns right through the bones.

A slave to this flame, I’ve been walking and walking on this bridge from no beginning to no end, although sometimes it rains , the rains are droplets of oil – only to ignite the flames more as time passes.

As my eyesight improves, I see my friends burning , my parents burning , all those whom i know, burning, walking along this same narrow bridge behind & in front of me , there is no relief of this burning on the front or back of this bridge, anyone who tries to pull the other has to be careful , else one might just be stepped and more burning occurs.

Suddenly, from the side came a hand and a voice that says “ Step aside, that is all” . Stepping aside, relief was obtained. Though dirty and tattered, with burn scars all over, joy occurred as the body was no longer burning – but burnt. 

Then came the voice again “ You shouldn’t step into that flames again nor allow it to burn you anymore , Untainted, cooled , refreshed – this is the highest bliss”

Flames of craving, Flames of desire , Ignited by delusion , Support By greed, Backed By hatred, Filled with doubt , burning in the trails of its own menace , there is no end , step aside, where it’s cool here.

Getting Stronger…

As I interact with more people and get to know more friends.. My mentality has strengthen and less critical of people and more loving towards them..

This is a learning process for me , especially in the area of work.. it seems vital to be able to master such inter-personal communication skills..

And to cater to different people.. different skill sets are needed..

I need to get even stronger to be un moved by the problems of my closer friends..

or else i will not even be able to sleep in peace.

Life is a set of repeated habits

good-habits-bad-habits Our lifes is comprised of many sets of different habits put together!

Which side do you brush your teeth from?

Whats the first thing you do when you wake up?

How do you decide what to feel when something happens?


Some habits are more deeply ingrained than others , however , we have the will power (mind) to change these habits if we decide to..

Do it now! (more sharing later on…)

Powerless To Aid..

Seldom in my life do i feel powerless towards events... I suppose this is a phase of life when i truly feel that nothing I can do can change the situation around for the better..

maybe its better for me to let things take it's nature course and play my role accordingly.. instead of forcing my beliefs and ideas unto you..

My sincere wish is that suffering will not befall those who pay my advise no heed..

Sometimes being selfish may be the path towards fruition.. If i cant save everyone.. at least i can save myself (from suffering)

I'll hold much of my peace from towards hence forth.. and will only answer when asked upon.

I hope my decision today is for the better of all beings and not in opposition to it.

The Foolish Leading The Fools

why-drunk-people-show-no-fear Many a times it saddens me to see a scenario where a fool is led by a bunch of fools – only to be fooled.

Fools here does not refer to people whom are stupid , in fact they are very intelligent. It refers to people whom are ignorant , ignorant of the truth of matters.

Why do I say this?

Recently , I know a few friends whom drinks on a frequent basis , and these lot of people constitute of the foundation of fools. It is they who lead others into foolishness (drinking in this case)

And who is to be lead by them? those whom do not establish themselves in correct view. And those who think that the first bunch of fools are their “Friends”.

I’ve posted a post before regarding friends, you can find it here.

One is not your friend if he is a companion in indulging in intoxicants that cause
infatuation and heedlessness .

And how can this be more true?

After one particular drinking sessions of the fools, I out of curiosity asked on of them ,

“why do you ask James (pseudonym) to go drinking with you?”

The reply i got?

“no la.. i merely told him I was going and he made a choice himself!”

so i asked more

“So whos going to take care of him?”

he replied

“man, everyone has to take care of themselves at the bar, if you want to do any wrong things, thats your problem”

I was in total shock, asking your friend to drink with you whilst you dont bother about his safety ?

Thus the buddha said ..

A friend is when..

(i) he guards the heedless,
(ii) he protects the wealth of the heedless,
(iii) he becomes a refuge when you are in danger,
(iv) when there are commitments he provides you with double the
supply needed.

So if a bunch of people go drinking , everyone gets drunk, how does anyone become anyone’s refuge?

Hence i conclude, its a bunch of big fools , leading a bunch of smaller fools , all going to be fooled into the three lower realms.

Thinking of which, it saddens me alot.

Communication Is Not About The Words

Having read a fair share of books on communication , I dare to bodly say that communication still remains a problem for most individuals because most people - like myself - only focuses on the techniques on communication and not the intention behind every conversation.

Whilst I am not undermining the importance of techniques, I find it far less critical in holding a conversation.

Some typical things that we may have came across are..

1. Dont use the word "BUT , substitute it with "AND"

2. Dont talk , listen

3. Always start by emphatising with the other party then bring in your point

In my opinion, these things come naturally when one is truly adept at communication. Great communication doesnt come by mastering such things - it is a natural reaction which comes with great communication.

It the same logic as you cant grow durian trees from durians but from seeds of durians. No one grows a durian tree from a durian shell but from the durian seed!

And so what is the seed of great communication? Now the simplest and most beautiful phrase for the seed of great communication is this

The ability to put yourself in another person's shoes.

It takes alot of observation and right attention to pick up even the subtlest of signs from the other party in order to hold a great communication.

The moment you can put yourself in another person's shoes, communication will flow!

The problem with most people is they ask "Why should I bother about the feelings of the other person ? , I have enough problems myself!"

I cannot answer the above question for you, to speak for myself I would reply as..

Its a joy to bring joy to others, even at the expense of one's own

Just think ... how does it feel when someone elses does something nice for you?

Now , that is food for thought.

Inspirations From Ajahn Keng

dynasty_warriors_6-1 This is a very personal post..


There are certain issues where we can use skillfulness and wisdom to overcome so as to live in harmony with others, however, there are certain issues that one should never relent no matter what. (i.e. especially precepts)










我问, 世间情为何物?







生, 老 , 病 , 死 ,



Educating The Next Generation

grade A It has always been my wish to educate the younger generation . Personally, studying has never been a problem for me since the age of 16. In fact, I had to go through a bit of a struggle prior to attaining that “Gift” for studying such that I never had to find studying a chore or something “boring” . To speak the truth, I felt truly lucky to be able to break the mystery of academics and unlock the unlimited potential within me to do well in my studies – at an amazingly relaxed pace.


Although I cannot upload and download this mentalities to the mind of the younger generations, I do have the intention to do my best to educate them on how studying can be enjoyable, practical and fun – just like my teacher mr tan peng yeong did.

Although I haven’t come up with a definitive plan , I hope that I’ll be able to attract like minded individuals in Singapore to start doing this for our younger generations.

May my wish come true.

When I Am Down..

lordbuddha Been feeling down and out this weekend.. sadness seems to overwhelm me alot… I very long no cry twice in a row (and a third time when my friend was counsoling me..

This period probably allows me to recognise who are those I called brothers whom will call me “Bro” back.. But I wont draw a conclusion with regards to this matter..

Life is full of ups and downs.. sometimes its the people whom lift you up when you’re down and to share your joy that makes you feel its all worth it..

Thats is why the buddha say that a good friend is one who rejoice in your gains and supports you when you loss..

How many friends do I have that follows strictly to the protocol of what the lord buddha mentioned?

What is NOT a friend ?

(1) he who appropriates a friend's possessions,

(i) he appropriates his friend's wealth,
(ii) he gives little and asks much,
(iii) he does his duty out of fear,
(iv) he associates for his own advantage.

(2) he who renders lip-service,

(i) he makes friendly profession as regards the past,
(ii) he makes friendly profession as regards the future,
(iii) he tries to gain one's favor by empty words,
(iv) when opportunity for service has arisen, he expresses his inability.

(3) he who flatters,

(i) he approves of his friend's evil deeds,
(ii) he disapproves his friend's good deeds,
(iii) he praises him in his presence,
(iv) he speaks ill of him in his absence.

(4) he who brings ruin.

(i) he is a companion in indulging in intoxicants that cause
infatuation and heedlessness,
(ii) he is a companion in sauntering in streets at unseemly hours,
(iii) he is a companion in frequenting theatrical shows,
(iv) he is a companion in indulging in gambling which causes heedlessness."

What IS a friend?

(1) he who is a helpmate,

(i) he guards the heedless,
(ii) he protects the wealth of the heedless,
(iii) he becomes a refuge when you are in danger,
(iv) when there are commitments he provides you with double the
supply needed.

(2) he who is the same in happiness and sorrow,

(i) he reveals his secrets,
(ii) he conceals one's own secrets,
(iii) in misfortune he does not forsake one,
(iv) his life even he sacrifices for one's sake.

(3) he who gives good counsel,

(i) he restrains one from doing evil,
(ii) he encourages one to do good,
(iii) he informs one of what is unknown to oneself,
(iv) he points out the path to heaven.

(4) he who sympathises.

(i) he does not rejoice in one's misfortune,
(ii) he rejoices in one's prosperity,
(iii) he restrains others speaking ill of oneself,
(iv) he praises those who speak well of oneself."

If anyone of else has a friend that fulfill all 4 criterias as stated above, one should be truly thankful. i am thankful =)

first major disappointment in my life

friendship 从小到大,我所付出的努力都会有耕耘。在加上家庭的教育是赏罚分明-一个公平的制度,这可能造就了我对世界的看法- 凡是都是一份耕耘,一份收获。这也许在很多方面都是一个优点,但今天我发现, 如果误以为世界就是对每个人都是那么的公平, 那我也太过天真了。

Today  my grading concerning my work performance was confirmed , and it was a disappointing “C” – GOOD. And the reason why it was just only a GOOD, was because I had taken too many medical leave throughout the course of my past 1+ years in my job

I find it difficult to accept it initially, because my work ethic and work quality – in my opinion – is nothing short of an “A” – Outstanding. Out of all my responsibilities as an employee, the only thing I didnt managed to fulfil was to leave the office later than my boss.

I was always in early, never complained about too much work, always delivering on time (with high quality) and way before deadline etc. To even put my overall grading anything less than a “B” – Very Good , was already a huge blow to me.

One of the main reasons why I was so upset was because , the work ethic of others are not even close to what I’ve delivered, and yet their grades are much better than mine – all because I am sick.

Is that how it is like? That if you are sick, then no matter how good your work is , it doesnt count ? Is that the message we’re sending out to people whom give their heart and soul to a job?

I’ve been denied everything in my stint of serving my nation, no promotion , no awards and not even a grade that should’ve been fairly given to me. thinking of this, it often draws me to tears , I find that I cannot accept such a treatment.

Upon reflection, I can only say this for myself , this is the way of the samsara.

Samsara is not fair  , because of kamma, kamma is created, because of the kilesas.

Expecting a fair treatment is like expecting humans to fly. maybe humans have a higher chance of flying.

Nevertheless, I’ll continue to fulfil my duties towards my boss and my peers , if this is the way my kamma would be, I’ve do well to let it fruit and be done with it – who knows, maybe this is just a small way of repaying something i did very wrong in the past (i.e. not following the dhamma vinaya as a member of the ariya sangha?)

And if this is not my kamma, things will turn out for the better , right? I have sadda in this.

My sincere wish,is that whoever has did this to me, will not be in my position now or in the future, I do not blame anyone and I do not wish to pursue this matter anymore. Let it rest.

May all beings be well and happy.

Many Reflections

No photos for this today because this is meant to be a post that I've to take seriously when I am going to re-read it someday.

Tuesday , IPPT day. Xin Hao & Zi Wei came over to my house for a tea session. We Drank dragon well (long jing) tea and it was one of the finer and higher grade tea compared to what I am used to. In the midst of our discussions, I learned alot of things which I must apply or else I've be practicing for nothing...

1) Alot of times I feel that whatever works for me should and must work for another person. And personally, i've get very upset if it doesnt. Because I've been taught that everyone has the same psychology and whatever that works should work throughout without biasness. However, this form of thinking seems to be hugely mistaken by me! Everyone has their own natural tendencies and inclinations, and it is wrong of me to try and force upon others what i feel is the best. Upon which , I've like to apologise to many people because I've done that on them and I would like to apologise to these people, although I may have lost alot of their contacts...

Dear Friend,

I am sorry that i've forced my thoughts on you previously, please accept my apology.

Xin Hao , Mr Yang (ZW) , Shi Ping , Shi Long , Zhen Hui.

2) Things happen by their own natural accord and we shouldnt force anything's progress beyond their natural speed.

3) Conceit is another one of the weak link i've found in myself. I often like to think that I am an expert in a certain field although only knowing a bit about them , i.e. listening to a seminar, or reading a series of books. I've not given due respect to the field of interest and even attempt to teach others how to do it.

On a very very personal basis, I feel this is where blogging for $$ should not be made as a main thing unless you was or am a field expert before! I've been trying to setup blogs of my own "passion" , however I fail to realise that I am neither an expert on the area nor know any of the experts . Making such a thing into a solid source of income is hardly righteous nor beneficial.

I end my reflections here.

Today has been such a meaningful day, maybe many a times, if our heart asks a sincere question , wherever we look, a sincere reply will be obtained.

It appears all of life's question can be answered if only we knew how to listen, and really listen, not to others, but to the deep inner voice ... within.


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