Having read a fair share of books on communication , I dare to bodly say that communication still remains a problem for most individuals because most people - like myself - only focuses on the techniques on communication and not the intention behind every conversation.
Whilst I am not undermining the importance of techniques, I find it far less critical in holding a conversation.
Some typical things that we may have came across are..
1. Dont use the word "BUT , substitute it with "AND"
2. Dont talk , listen
3. Always start by emphatising with the other party then bring in your point
In my opinion, these things come naturally when one is truly adept at communication. Great communication doesnt come by mastering such things - it is a natural reaction which comes with great communication.
It the same logic as you cant grow durian trees from durians but from seeds of durians. No one grows a durian tree from a durian shell but from the durian seed!
And so what is the seed of great communication? Now the simplest and most beautiful phrase for the seed of great communication is this
The ability to put yourself in another person's shoes.
It takes alot of observation and right attention to pick up even the subtlest of signs from the other party in order to hold a great communication.
The moment you can put yourself in another person's shoes, communication will flow!
The problem with most people is they ask "Why should I bother about the feelings of the other person ? , I have enough problems myself!"
I cannot answer the above question for you, to speak for myself I would reply as..
Its a joy to bring joy to others, even at the expense of one's own
interest.
Just think ... how does it feel when someone elses does something nice for you?
Now , that is food for thought.
Very nice post!
I like it =)
thanks QY !! =)