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The Claws Of Love – Part 1

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This is a story –.- , this story is part fiction and part fact as I am writing with the intention of sharing the moral of the story with everyone hence I’ve modified the story (the characters , settings etc but plot is fact) a little to suit the plot better. Putting this as Part 1 only means that I do not not if i’ll finish this story in a single post …

As I finally start to come to terms with the fact that she cannot be the special someone that I’ll share part of my life with, my heart withered and the world turned gloomy, from the horizon the sun was setting, and life seems bleak at best, the fires of missing her were subsiding , however the lingering feeling that something was missing – like a piece of me was torn off - remained,

Hi , My name is James… and this is my story with her…

I knew her from school and when i first saw her , I didn’t bear a particular interest in her except that she was a classmate and also a friend of my close friend. Our regular meet-ups were in mass lectures halls where we would be sitting quite near each other – hardly any conversation took place .  We would often have our lunch together with a bunch of other classmates , in which I seldom spoke as well.

Nothing in particular happened for a few weeks, until we were given a group project by our teacher and she said “Ok James you will be doing the project with Jesscia” , that was the first time I heard her name and it sure did caught my attention.

From then, we started having group meetings regularly as it was in both of us to want to complete the project exceeding expectations, and as a keen observer, I realised that Jess(ica) had something troubling her , I couldn’t put a finger on it , but I didn’t asked further .

As time went by , we got closer and closer together as good friends – partly because of the project, and we started joking around and seemed to have hit it off quite well. That was when I felt it was time for me to pop the question “Jessica, something seems to be bothering you, care to share?”

Looking back, I wished I had never asked this question…

She turned and looked at me with an elusive expression , after several seconds , she replied “why do you ask James?”

Sensing that she would be willing to share with me her problems if I pushed further I replied “Oh you seemed troubled by something and I thought I might be able to help”

"I don’t know if you can help .. but i’ll tell you anyway, I’ve just broke up with my boyfriend”

Hearing that I lent her my listening ear and we spoke about the issue, it was evident that she was hiding alot of information as her stories were not in chronological order – I didn’t mind, after hearing her story, this was what I gathered,

Jess and her boyfriend had broken up because he felt that both of them were not ready for a relationship as school work was very stressful and her boyfriend had a family to support (working part-time as well), he didn’t want to “short change” Jess as he felt he was failing in his duty as a boyfriend. Hence the broke up.

Listening to her story made me empathise with her plight, and I tried – in vain – to console her , the only thing I could do was accompany her, our project discussions that day did not continue as she was too bogged down by her emotional burdens to think straight.

At that moment when she was close to breaking down, she appeared to me like a blooming flower , so beautiful and so perfect , and I thought “let me help you to get out of this traumatic experience” .

For the next few weeks, Jess and I began to sit next to each other during lectures – and we shared a good amount of humour together , we usually have our meals together – except when I had to accompany my male friends .

I constantly listened to her problems and empathise with her, and sometimes she would not even speak about her problems and she would bluntly say “drop it James”.

I began to develop feelings for her and we got closer and closer , once she got so upset that she cried on my shoulders and gave me a hug for a good long while – it was an warming experience , I hugged her back and said “everything will be okay”

From that day onward, everyday in school became enjoyable , I looked forward to seeing her daily and at night we would often chat either online or on the phone, on days where I was rather busy, I would send her text messages , it was as if everyday the reason to rejoice was her, and everyday life only seem meaningful with her presence, life couldn’t have been better , I was enjoying her company and I wished I had her company forever. I decided , its time to make my move . . .

As 14th February approaches , I decided to ask for her “hand” – no not marriage- to go into a relationship with me on the 12th of February , I rehearsed my lines well and all seems to be in place and on the 11th night I called her to ask her out the next day for dinner, before I asked her out it was a routine that we would first talk about some random stuff , when I first heard her voice that night – it was unforgettable,

She was elated and seems to be brimming with joy, initially I thought it was because I was feeling rather happy and had some influence over her, and then I popped the question “you sound very happy today , are your inner conflicts with your past relationship resolved?”

I remember that scene all too well, I was sitting on my bed , on the right of my bed was the book I had just put down prior to the call, in front of me was my LCD TV and resting on my pillow , with the lights off, I was speaking with her on my handphone,

She replied “ I just reconcile with my boyfriend ! We’ve worked things out”

My world collapsed, as I sank into the abyss of darkness…

Comments :

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Hapi said...
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hello... hapi blogging... have a nice day! just visiting here....

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