The Foolish Leading The Fools

Many a times it saddens me to see a scenario where a fool is led by a bunch of fools – only to be fooled.

Fools here does not refer to people whom are stupid , in fact they are very intelligent. It refers to people whom are ignorant , ignorant of the truth of matters.

Why do I say this?

Recently , I know a few friends whom drinks on a frequent basis , and these lot of people constitute of the foundation of fools. It is they who lead others into foolishness (drinking in this case)

And who is to be lead by them? those whom do not establish themselves in correct view. And those who think that the first bunch of fools are their “Friends”.

I’ve posted a post before regarding friends, you can find it here.

One is not your friend if he is a companion in indulging in intoxicants that cause
infatuation and heedlessness .

And how can this be more true?

After one particular drinking sessions of the fools, I out of curiosity asked on of them ,

“why do you ask James (pseudonym) to go drinking with you?”

The reply i got?

“no la.. i merely told him I was going and he made a choice himself!”

so i asked more

“So whos going to take care of him?”

he replied

“man, everyone has to take care of themselves at the bar, if you want to do any wrong things, thats your problem”

I was in total shock, asking your friend to drink with you whilst you dont bother about his safety ?

Thus the buddha said ..

A friend is when..

(i) he guards the heedless,
(ii) he protects the wealth of the heedless,
(iii) he becomes a refuge when you are in danger,
(iv) when there are commitments he provides you with double the
supply needed.

So if a bunch of people go drinking , everyone gets drunk, how does anyone become anyone’s refuge?

Hence i conclude, its a bunch of big fools , leading a bunch of smaller fools , all going to be fooled into the three lower realms.

Thinking of which, it saddens me alot.

Communication Is Not About The Words

Having read a fair share of books on communication , I dare to bodly say that communication still remains a problem for most individuals because most people - like myself - only focuses on the techniques on communication and not the intention behind every conversation.

Whilst I am not undermining the importance of techniques, I find it far less critical in holding a conversation.

Some typical things that we may have came across are..

1. Dont use the word "BUT , substitute it with "AND"

2. Dont talk , listen

3. Always start by emphatising with the other party then bring in your point

In my opinion, these things come naturally when one is truly adept at communication. Great communication doesnt come by mastering such things - it is a natural reaction which comes with great communication.

It the same logic as you cant grow durian trees from durians but from seeds of durians. No one grows a durian tree from a durian shell but from the durian seed!

And so what is the seed of great communication? Now the simplest and most beautiful phrase for the seed of great communication is this

The ability to put yourself in another person's shoes.

It takes alot of observation and right attention to pick up even the subtlest of signs from the other party in order to hold a great communication.

The moment you can put yourself in another person's shoes, communication will flow!

The problem with most people is they ask "Why should I bother about the feelings of the other person ? , I have enough problems myself!"

I cannot answer the above question for you, to speak for myself I would reply as..

Its a joy to bring joy to others, even at the expense of one's own
interest.

Just think ... how does it feel when someone elses does something nice for you?

Now , that is food for thought.