My Decision As A Coach?

Recently, I’ve had mix feelings about coaching the youth group that I am now, although I am very far from giving up, my passion draws thinner as the days goes by. Maybe I’ve set my expectations too high? or maybe the expectations of me on my players versus that of their own for themselves sets us apart right from the start.

My expectations for players VERSUS

Their expectations of themselves

Or maybe it’s my own incompetence as a coach to bring my players to the next level?

I’ve seen many of them grown so much and so fast in a matter of weeks during their initial days , but now their progress is.. lets just say i’ve be glad they didnt deprove. This truly saddens me as I really do not know where the problem lies.. this thought alone often bring tears to my eyes.. (metaphorically).

I’ve never met such a problem before, because all those i’ve taught progressed to the stage they wanted before eventually stopping, however these players i’ve now wants to go further (or so i think) but they are not moving! Is it my ability to coach them is only up till the level they are at now? Or their own lack of focus and intensity that delays their own progress? I am truly at a dilemma.

Besides, I’ve always coached for a love and passion for the game , and I associate with people whom competes and loves the game – or so I thought. I’ve been dealt a devastating blow when so many months of hard work can vanish for something as simple as monetary values – or did I too superficially gave my judgement in a premature manner? – Another question that lies in the balance of both ends.

Maybe its time I let go of the game.. and let it fade away in the sands of time along with the flow of my memory – am I hanging on too tightly to a rope that is affixed to no end?

Or maybe I should intensify the fire in the furnace to harness the most well forged weapon of my repertoire ?

Confusion bugs me and answers – the only antidote- seems to be sacred even in a time of technological advancement.

Maybe .. thats all that lies in my head now.. Maybe..

Subconscious Compulsion To Internet

For the past week, I’ve been working relentlessly to break this habit of chatting online and using the internet daily without much of a second thought. Here’s a typical night for me whenever I go home before I broke my habit..(realise all of them requires internet access)

Why do i call it a compulsion? because it is (and not addiction)

 

 

Compulsion : Psychology. a strong, usually irresistible impulse to perform an act, esp. one that is irrational or contrary to one's will. (Source : dictionary.com)

It doesnt happen everyday, however if I do stay at home at night, this is pretty much how my compulsion habits look like

7pm : Reach home , on com , sign in to chatting platform

7.30pm : Dota

8.30pm : Dota

9.30pm: chat

10.30pm : chat

11.30pm : chat

12.30am : Log off and sleep

Oh my god? On days when I dont dota, I chat online all the way! And i also surf the following sites on a daily basis..

Dota All Stars Forums , Kevinhzh.com , becomeabballer.com , nuffnang.com , friendster, facebook , youtube , this blog (and all my friend’s blog)

thats all. I take 2(min) – 5 hours daily to stuck myself on the net to do all these things. Looking back, it looks pretty retarded. I could well be doing so many other things .. ! This is the power of compulsion – the power of our subconscious.

Well anyway, for you readers out there whom are in this cycle, you might want to think thrice before continuing (with your compulsions) :)

My next post will deal with the bad effects of being subconsciously compulsion to the computer and online chatting platforms (i.e. MSN, facebook etc)