It is in the face of adversity that friendship is tested. This sentence rings in my head these few days, I had a sort of a row with one of my bros, and to be honest I am largely to blame for my impulsiveness. I sometimes wonder if my priority to have friends on the top of my list was a good decision, sometimes i just feel unappreciated.. un cared for and taken for granted.
Perhaps if i switched off my mobile devices for a week , I would be able to look at myself better, instead of having the feeling that i’ve poured out all my energy and emotion into friendship, and am left empty handed. Although logically I know that I am left with the joy of friendship and that of unselfish giving, I am emotionally not able to keep up with this logic.
My best friend (xh) once told me that for him, he feels the same way and the person whom can fill this gap for him was a girl, that might also be true in my case, but are humans really that pathetic? That we cannot shower love and concern for our friends – and that it is only reserved for that special “someone” ?
My heart is full of sadness… filled with loneliness and filled with nothingness… I really wanna have a good cry.. But i’ve been unable to do so for a very long time… the best i could muster was a tear , I am sick and tired of this state that I am in, is this what life is about?
Perhaps we all show our love and concern in our own ways.
I'm thinking... I'm reflecting.
If I were to stay by your side a little longer, leave for Thailand a little later will I be able to guide you along till you recover from all these emotional torment?
You might say no, but I am thinking along this line... Did I leave at the wrong time?